~•1.2.2006•~
Often times I don't like you.

"I'm lucky," he says leaning against the dirty bar wall. He's speaking to me--about me--with besotted breath of fire. I know these words are for me because he's like this when he's been drinking. And although I'm here against my will with the jukebox blaring wretched music and wearing the most uncomfortable clothes to ever come off of a manufacturing line, I've never felt so exultant.

He speaks to me, enchanting me, and enticing me. I let him lull me further and further into his words, his eyes, his arms (his lies?) with a complete disreguard for the mastodonic wall I've built around me. What's the point of having a wall if I'm just going to let everyone in who knocks on the door?

Sometimes I wonder where this is all going. "What the hell are you doing?" is quickly becoming my most often thought phrase. I'm constantly tiptoeing on unstable ground. I want to push him and run, not walk, quickly to the nearest exit. He's my addiction and my senselessness. I can't wait until the feeling fades and I can go back to normal.

~Ams "I am kind of a paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy." -J.D. Salinger

Mood:  Shut up.


evilams ~¤~ 1.2.2006 ~¤~ 11:44 pm

Hallie
January 3, 2006   02:37 PM PST
 
ams, are you too busy to post regularly?!?!??!??!?!?! i miss you!
~¤~

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Me-

Name: Amber "Ams" ViTaliano
Age: 25
Birthdate: April 3, 1980
Birthplace: Hawaii
Location Now: Virginia
Gender: Femme
Siblings: 2 brothers, 1 sister
Parents: Yes.
Astrological sign: Aries
Birthstone: Diamond
Pets: 2 cats, 2 chinchillas
Favorite-

Band: Reel Big Fish, Violent Femmes
TV Shows: Oz, Sex in the City, Mr. Show, Will and Grace, Trigun, InuYasha, Invader Zim, Six Feet Under, FLCL, Evangelion, Bubblegum Crisis 2040, Last Comic Standing (GO DAT!), American Morning, Cowboy Bebop
Movies: Battle Royale Survival Program, Suicide Circle, Interview with a Vampire, Princess Mononoke, Spirited Away, Akira, Kung Pow Enter the Fist, Moon Child
Foods: Sushi, Tempura, Fuddrucker's Tripple Cheese Hamburgers, Fried Cheescake (yes, it is as fattening as it sounds but MmmM...)
Drinks: Iced Tea, Diet Mountian Dew, Strawberry Milk Shakes
Books: Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass, Bust: The New Girl Order, The Count of Monte Cristo, The Hobbit, Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West, Sleeping Beauty Memorial Photography in America
Color: red
Video Games: Diablo2:LoD [PC], Lunar: Silver Star Story Complete [PS], Sanitarium [PC], Hunter the Reckoning [XBox], The Sims [PC], Age of Mythology [PC], Tetris [GB], Star Ocean 2 [PS], Arcanum [PC], Black & White [PC], The Sims 2 [PC]
Thing to do: browse the black market (I like to window shop.)
Quote: "I only go on living because I know someday you'll be dead."

Currently-

I am: a saddened soul always yearning for more...
I want: you.
I have: two chinchillas in my pants.
I wish: you were a steak and I had a fork.
I hate: waiting for you to love me.
I miss: silence.
I fear: running out of the essentials, food, water, air, crack...
I hear: the souls of the lost crying out in pain. SUCK IT UP CRY BABIES!
I search: for the meaning of life and use Google to do it. "I'm feeling lucky!"
I wonder: what it would be like if all time stopped and I was the only one who could move...
I love: you and all of the misery you cause me.
I always: lie.
I am not: a liar.
I dance: to call upon the demons of the underworld to set forth a mighty blaze which will burn the world into ruins.
I sing: a song of six pence, a pocket full of rye.
I cry: when you're not near me.
I am not always: this honest.
I win: You lose. You die.
I lose: You win. You still die.
I confuse: my friends with puppets.
I need: a tracking device, sub-machine gun, and a pot lid.
I should: eat my offspring.

   
<< January 2006 >>
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
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08 09 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
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You're leaving aren't you? Farewell love... farewell.
To read
=º= The Justice League of Ambiguity *JLA*
=º= Mar Komus
=º= Greg
=º= Phases
=º= Mr. Jack Ryan
=º= Thunderstorms in the Imajica
=º= Hallie
=º= SnarkyChick
=º= Cinnamon

To Do
=º= BDI *BDI*
=º= Neopets
=º= Shockwave mind games

To Learn
=º= SnarkyChick. 'Tis the word. Spread it like a virus.
=º= Lissa Explains it All
=º= Draac's
=º= A history lesson
=º= Duck Billed Platypus
=º= The Urban Legend Refrence Page
=º= Straight Dope

To Look At
=º= Deviant Art *DA*
=º= My photo album
=º= Atom Films
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